The Law of Equilibrium ( Love - Drive - Life)

Object of my poems which crowned me as a poet was a girl of twenty years who studied medicine, she wasn’t pretty to be selected for a model, she wasn’t so ugly a man would deny, she was normal. I was seriously settling my cash balance in the counter, she came in I didn’t notice, she asked me whether I can allot her two seats in the restaurant as it was crowded, even then I didn’t care about her features, nor I did saw her eyes, she came for billing, she let out the bill & cash, I handed over the balance, getting the cash she looked straight with her big eyes, I was stunned. Never I had seen a girl’s eye so close, so straight, big eyes, not like popping out, beautiful big eyes which I thought was lot of things should be transformed between us, conspired, communicated, adorable, laid down everything a combatant would bear geared in his robe, a total surrender.

I had written poems before, few friends used to ask me to write for some for their beloved, those times I would be very sincere, I never thought them as second or third person, I would ask necessary information about their beloved and work on that, mostly they were the best.

She started to come more often, my glances & her pretty big eyes clashed more often, from few conversations I came to know she was from south of my city, her father & mother settled in Middle East. I believed some how she understood I got attracted to her, she wasn’t a kind of talkative but dominative, I found she dominates her friends, wherever she goes she would be with friends, mostly not alone, she would be leading the group. I loved her traits, I loved her style, I loved her big eyes. I started to believe she is the best suit for me, I deserve her and she deserves me, I resolved to reveal the three words sentence.

I got up early resolved to open my secluded heart, I was expecting a right moment, right time to tell her how much I was attracted, how much I love her, and how much I would be honored if she accepts my love. She didn’t turn up, I thought it was the time of final examinations, I waited, I confirmed with some of her mates, yes it was she preparing for that year final exam. Days ran, weeks treaded, but that was the most sluggish days for me, since minutes rolled like days, no need to say the weeks, weeks rolled like years, I was busy writing poems for my beloved, expecting soon she would turn up, I would deliver my love, she would accept me or else little taken aback she would accept me, despite she might take time to consider, might come out with a positive outcome.

Two months strolled like two years; I assumed she might have gone to her native would be back when college resumes. I was ready to make a move once she turns up, I would blatantly say “I love her”.

The day came, ultimately she turned up, but she came with a huge set of friends in a old ambassador, a man in his early thirties accompanied her, it seems he was little rude with her, not seemingly considering she was with her friends that too in a public place, restaurant. She felt not bad with him, never she showed any sign of distrust, humiliation or irritation, I wondered, as usual I greeted her, I exclaimed how long it was we two met, I was curious, to let my eagerness, to reveal how I felt without her for two long months as if two years, I was disturbed since she turned up with such a huge crowd and with a man who don’t even know how to behave in public. She seemed to have understood what I was thinking about, she leaned forward, gave me a sign to come near to her, I was eager, I went near her, she apologized, she didn’t inform me prior of her wedding, she told the arrogant man on her side with constant nagging is her husband, wedded a week ago in her native.

I was thrown aback, I stumbled, I got to understand the reality, that irrational, half irritated bug who accompanied her was her husband, I never understood the reason behind the dark sides of nature, do any one expect a girl with most poignant nature, most dominative with her friends, but soft spoken, lovely, compassionate would dare to accept a quite rough nature bug as her partner, was it suppose to be like that?, should we accept this? A fate. I greeted him shaking his hand showing my cordiality, he seems to be not interested accepting my greetings, I began to realize the fact, reality, I have always thought of a cup and saucer, it’s an anecdote for a husband & wife relationship, unless the saucer is wide enough, will it enable the cup to sit on it’s chest, so there is difference, difference in shape, attributes, the difference make the cup & saucer to fit to each other, difference is the balance, difference contributes the equilibrium.

I felt, I had unburden a heavy sack which was too heavy for me for all these days, which made me a crook for myself, I was happy getting relieved from, but the sad part was I have lost my drive, the object of my poem was lost, suddenly I lost my drive to create poem of that sort. I dropped writing for a whole year, I never thought of writing anything. I really worried loosing my drive and not my love!.